Sunday, April 22, 2012
This picture was taken four years ago. After drinking deeply of community spending 3 days with the Parkers in CO (now in Thailand- lauraleighparker.com) we set sail for our homeland of NC
On a once in a lifetime roadtrip from WA to NC after stopping to eat P,B & J... AGAIN we ran around wild in an open field, tackled & tagged and laughed our hearts silly. Then we piled back in the van, I read a story to my 5,2 & 9 month old and tucked each in with lovies & blankets then headed to the front of the van to savor some choclate and conversation with my husband.
Today, my kids are 10, 7, 5 & 2. We live a beautiful life on many levels. Yet, though we are living our dream of land & animals & gardens & owning a home I find it harder to get back to this place of giddy laughter & snorts, of unashamed silliness & play. The duties & demands of my job loom large & I give in way too much to "just let me finish this task" mode.
I teeter and totter on the fence of us all working hard together to have a clean/orderly house and simply living life knowing messes are signs of life and creativity. Does anyone else experience this???
And lately, I have fallen prey to wondering if my job has true significance at all because I am in jeans and a cute t-shirt rather than the tailored suit my Mom wore when I was little.
Yet, yet, my precious Lydia walked around the house today calling her baby doll "Darlin'" and singing "Sabor, you can mobe the mowntowns, you are mowighty to save, you are mowighty to save."
And so tonight although I am in process of balancing the demands of Motherhood and re-establishing some better rhythms of daily playfulness with Mom, I remember my dream after being struck down & having my feet yanked out from under me being diagnosed with a chronic disease...birthing little souls to love loudly on this earth, thus pointing others to the glory of God.
And I saw it today. So tho I groan & moan & kick the dirt as I am in process, I am thankful.
Thankful for kids who sing around the house.
Thankful for Josh inviting Abby to play a game with him.
Thankful for Lydias mimic of me to her baby doll.
Thankful for Jed having patience with his sisters when he desperately wants to talk.
Thankful for four healthy souls to fill with beauty & nature & God-glory.