But then in comes the husbands perspective like a fresh breeze on a spring day..."Babe, it's time to re-configure our plan." So change is hard & uncomfortable but good. It's the being STUCK that isn't good. Being so head strong that dag nabit this is the right thing for all my kids for their whole life mentality that will surely do some big ole' damage. So we explored & toured & asked questions & landed on a small charter school right here in our little town. The boys started in January.
They are both doing well in 4th and 1st grade & the sky has not fallen & a lightening bolt has not struck
me dead. Shew! Amazing what kind of boxes we put ourselves in sometimes. Atleast this perfectionist people pleaser does.
So the girls- 5 & 2 and I have gone back to story time, dance time & room time...the rhythm I have lived by since my first born was about 2. I let them bring me as many stories as they like & I read so alive & vibrant & silly & I love every minute. I am no longer fussing at them to be quiet while I read long chapter books to the boys. Rather, they are sitting on my lap or beside me & so engaged. Then we dance to jamin' worship music or classical stuff I have & are beautiful ballerinas. Can I just say that my heart is coming back to life and finding hope again.
I am thankful.
Four kids is so so wonderful. Such gifts. Such LIFE & creativity & joy. Yet, 10,7, 5 & 2 with 2 strong willed, extroverts and an always exploring toddler is quite the mix. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Motherhood & I love my home schooling journey & don't regret a bit of it. I actually hope we can return to it one day. There are so many pros!!!
But for now, I glory in that Father's love has encamped us as we have jumped. I am so thankful for the wisdom of my husband & the courage to make a change.
I am exhaling.