A day in our life

Aunt Juanita is being buried today. Tho I wasn't close to her, she was a link to my past and I grieve today.

Being around my husbands line of work I am weekly in touch with the dying, the man who sits at the front door all day listening to the radio, the hunched over lady with pink rollers in her hair, the kind souls whose minds & bodies are failing them and are living out their last days in a beautiful building in a small room twice the size of my dorm room in college. Each time I leave there I vow to live my life fully & well, one day at a time, to breath deep & embrace the LIFE around me. This can be hard when so many demands are upon me in this season of life, when I grow tired & weary & lonely. Or when I have a pouty child, or one too many tiff's to straighten out or when both pairs of jeans that fit are in the laundry...okay so, you get my point...there are many little & big things that can rob us of LIFE today- of joy if we let em. IF.

With that in mind, here is one of my recent, 'todays' where I sought to have EYEs to see the beauty in my midst, in this homeschooling lifestyle. There are no frills or firecrackers in daily life around here. Yet, it is holy ground, this shaping of souls, this leading a life of bold love & service- pouring your life out for others. It's not about me anymore. It's about my children who will be grown adults & parents before I can blink, and about my grandchildren & great great grandchildren. I'm living today with them in mind. Tho I am only one ordinary lady I believe this work I put my hands to each day matters. So, as I went about my day I remembered a recent defination of beauty as 'a way of seeing.'

And this is what I saw....

After morning chores & devotions, saying goodbye to daddy & doing a little table school work- math, spelling, comprehension for Joshua & mazes & letters for littles they got out play dough & wa la'-made mazes & ladybugs & worms.

Absolutely beautiful, creative budding artist & friendships.

Then, checking his work, I find this.

I gulp, tear up & rub my man cubs head. He is so good at expressing himself.

Then reading Mr. Popper's Penguins Jed, wiggling in my lap this physical touch, hold me, hold me, let me sit in your 'wap' Mama boy!

No matter the age, they all come to the well of Mama's love & lap it up in any number of ways throughout the day...beautiful, this snuggling, this high-fiving, this back rubbing that goes on during our day.

My 2nd graders to-do list...
...line by line...day by day...food for the mind

in this dailyness of work, of stick to it ivenss I see beauty

Hearing coo's & 'da,da,da' from the nursery while I finish reading aloud, I walk back to get our littlest bitty shug & this is what I find....

oh, the joy of those fresh from a long nap snuggles & pats on my face. I pause & glory in her tinyness, her two teeth, her happy self reaching for me in these days of learning to bond....yes, she is learning so much in these first days in the world. She is in school too, our school of love.

We keep learning & reading even as she nurses...and listens to the sounds of our voices, to good sentences (most the time) being spoken & thus she learns the rhythms of our days.

Free Play!!! While I put away some books & exhale a moment- sometimes a vanilla chia break! I make lunch for us, chuckle over the giddy little hearts getting all dressed up. It's sometimes risky to let them run free & choose what they what to get into but so good this self directed play.

Meals are part of school here too. I am shaping taste buds & eating habits & little minds and bodies are growing daily! Dare we underestimate the power of good nutrition in the overall well being of a child...a child's ability to concentrate & learn. I don't make anything fancy for lunches around here but its usually good enough. If you don't like it, then wait till afternoon snack. :)

I love watching this girl play & imagine. Her voices, her expressions, her creativity is a little life pulse in our home. Beautiful!

Sweet Potatos for Libby girl this week! And yes, even Mommy makes big messes around here! It is all part of life. Messes are signs of work of creativity in the making around here. We don't live to look like Southern Living at Home, tho we do like to be stylish, and we do know how to pick up right nice if we know your coming over! ; )

The joy of neighbors dropping by for a snowy day game of chess or ruckus...these boy voices having fun in my den, laughing, bantering back & forth.

Ahhh, the welcoming of an evening... the lighting of candles...the pouring of a glass of wine...

And the final clean up of the day, the tucking in of our messes...these million little signs of life.

Good night! Good night!

Far flies the light;

But still God's love

Shall flame above,

Making all bright.

Good night! Good night!

Good Night

by Victor Hugo

Beauty Hunting

I've been beauty hunting lately. On the look out for pieces of beauty to bring into my home which will enhance the atmosphere in which I do my job, host & love on others, raise up these four young saplings, and enjoy life with my husband. Tho were no longer in official church ministry, our home more than ever seems to be a place of touching the hurting, sharing food & joy. Our home is a revolving door of sorts, a magnet to the neighborhood kids & passerby's. So all this to say, as the lady of the home I am desiring to add creative, thoughtful touches to my home this year. I have been riping pages out of magazines- just like you taught me Catherine, back in 8th grade :) ! I'm learning to go with what stirs me, makes me jitter a little & come alive. As I was showing some of my magazine clippings to a friend we came to a page with a couch & lots of other stuff- but I pointed out the yellow urn with red berries on the coffee table & commented on its rustic, whispy beauty. She piped right up & candidly said, "Ask Jesus for it, I'm sure you'll run into it somewhere." A little humorously jolted by her candor, I kept flipping pages. Deep down the little girl in me-"Jesus is too busy for this kind of stuff..." But that night I remembered her words & whispered a half hearted, "Jesus do you really care about how blah I feel in my home, would you maybe lead me to a yellow old vase for my home?" kinda prayer as I'm brushing teeth, laying out clothes for tommorrow, in a fog, ready to crash into bed.

That week as I walked through an ecclectic store I was scanning the place for a touch of unique beauty I could bless my home with, I wasn't finding anything & was resolving that I am just too darn picky- good ole' lies from that enemy & that I just can't make decisions fast enough. When looking over the last corner of the store, I found it.... I gasped & chuckled as a quick burst of water filled my eyes. I looked behind my shoulder to see if anyone was watching me & relieved to be alone I smiled from ear to ear with Jesus who has no longer called me servant but his friend- remember John 15:12-17 that I was memorizing last week. We had a sweet moment togther in that store, he and I. Me thanking & him affirming me of his presence in the details of my life, his love & care towards me, his daughter.

After my private little cry, laugh session in a little downtown store, I ran my fingers over the urn and checked it out a little closer. Ah man, a crack. A visible crack that has been glued, and a price tag that reflects it & says 'as is.' Unique, rustic, and broken, visibly broken & put back together. Just like me. I'll take it.

Thank you, Father. Thank you. You are too good, showing up in the oddest places in my life, like thrift stores. I love it! Keep captivating me Lord Jesus with the wonder of YOU. Set my eyes on you. Sustain me with your presence. Let me see you in my day. Give me eager eyes & heart to truly see you, acknowledge you cause truly, you are there. You have me chuckling & thinking & in the quiet closet of my heart today as I share this story & these little treasures you've delighted in showing me which all have some sort of personal deeper significance for me, I'm on my face washing your feet with perfume & tears & song.

Sing with me...

How Great is our God

Name above all Names

You are worthy of all praise

My heart will sing How Great, how GREAT is OUR GOD!

Living grateful for...

-my keens & fun socks my sister gave me for christmas
-the happy lime green shirt i'm wearing with white pattern on it
-4 tiny fingers wrapped around my thumb
-sam- our college age, vibrant, God loving babysitter
-scruffy kisses from my man
-gift of going to TX with a dear friend in 4 weeks
-david nuvue's panio music- thank you deshia!
-REI waterbottles
-my mom's voice that touches me like no one elses
-little house on the praire re-runs
-helpful librarians when my kids are fidgity
-grace, grace, grace for my tattered self
-abby's sweet 3 year old 'guurl' voice
-candles that welcome our evenings
-a husband that goes to work every day
-a warm house
-3 pairs of snow boots lined up by the front door
-life cereal
-a vintage type yellow vase I found when beauty hunting today
(thot of you kristen!)

i am blessed.
may my face, my countance reflect this abundant goodness.
i enter my evening with a pause. my days are so full. i fall into bed at night.
such a good tired, tho. of having worked hard, having put my hands to the task before me.
i am grateful for this job before me, this good work i have to put my hands to each day. it is hard, it is challenging, it is creative, it is mundane, it is also life giving & so rewarding. these souls i touch, shape each day are flourishing...learning, growing, loving.
may you to see the goodness before your eyes today,
as you live and breath
and love those
around
you.

let's not sweat the small stuff, eh?
there is lots of life to be lived,
seeds of hope to be sown,
hugs to be given and
dreams dreamt.

shalom,
amanda

I Am Christ's Friend

Heres the verse on my window sill this week. Reading it over & over as I wash dishes over & over & over & reach for plates & coffee cups ect....letting truth seep into my soul & desiring to see how the Spirit may

remind me of these words this week.

As I walk through a bit of my own friend wilderness

I feel ripe to recieve the wonder of these words.

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down

his life for his friends.

You are my friends if you do what I command.

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know

his master's business.

Instead, I have called you friends,

for everything that I learned form my Father I have made known to you.

(this is where I want to put some exclamation marks..)

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you

(how amazing is that- you dear one, are chosen & appointed by God)

to go and bear fruit- fruit that will last.

Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.

This is my command:

Love each other."

John 15:12-17

Morsals of a 40th B-day

Some birthdays come and go, but some call for extra pauses & lots of extra 'sursies' (what my mom calls special treats). This 40th birthday of my amazing husband was full of both & I am grateful. Today, exhausted, I look back with a smile on the memories & want to share with many of you who were a part of making his birthday so special in some way. Thank you for entering the day...
He had a big ole plate of blueberry pancakes & scrambled eggs (from our neighbors chickens :) for breakfast & then left for work. We all scurried around & got dressed & left a big mess & went to his office where all the residents had gathered for a suprise party for him that Peggy organized with yummy choclate brownies because James is a choclate guy.

Here we are at Kingsbridge House- him in his new birthday shirt & tie- thanks Mom & Dad!

He woke to this... second best to having a party for him was letting you guys know it was his birthday & asking for some words for him & boy did he get some cards!!!! Thank you to those of you who spoke into his life, spoke joy & hope & laughter over him. I appreciate it so much. He was quite suprised!

Thank you to those of you who were able to write to him. He was blown away...from all you Wenatcheeites who took a moment to remember him, to family & friends- he opened over 20 cards and 5 emails with birthday words for him.

From brownies in the morning at Kingsbridge House to a choclate chip cookie cake at Cedar Mountian House to 7 layer bars after dinner the guy was sung to & celebrated & chocked full of choclate!

I made lots of phone calls during the day- searching for a truck & willing person to pick up his big gift from Lowes & bring it to our home. After the party at Kingsbridge, driving to Ashvile for my bible study & kids play time with friends, taking boys to their art class, then going to the party at Cedar Mountain House, I was exhausted & out of ideas. Atleast I had some Wendell Barry books for him to open that night, I thought.
We came home & all snuggled in my bed while I nursed Liberty & felt bummed as I was coming to grips that he would just have to go pick up his own 40th birthday gift when my friend, Erin called & said her husband Tim had not gotten my messages. He had a short window & was willing to go get the grill & bring it out to our house! Sigh of relief & a grin- yes, Jesus, you would come through at the last minute just when I had given up. Thank you Father!

...the day ended wrestling with his little man cubs who love to test their strength on their daddy who can still pin their 8 & 5 year old selves at the same time!

Here's to a wonderful day-

a life well lived

with hopes of many, many more

birthdays & sursies to come

for a man

who loves

who serves & protects

who provides for his family

who delights in his daughters

who listens to & tenderly cherishes his wife

who enjoys U2, well written words, good beer, his bee hive, long hikes deep in the woods.

Bless you, James Corey Walters!

Living As An Accepted Daughter

Accept one another, then, just as

Christ accepted you,

in order to bring praise to God.

Romans 15:7

This year I am resolved to committ scripture to memory, to hide God's precious words about my acceptance in Christ, my security in Christ, and my significance in Christ in my heart. Memorizing scripture is something I want to do more of this year, I invite you to join me. Each week one of the liberating truths about my position as a believer will be on a little card & sitting beside my desk. This week it is Romans 15:7

For me, learning about my acceptance in Christ years ago at a grace walk conf. freed me to accept myself, the imperfect lady that I am- with good & yucky parts, and then bled into my joy of being with others- being able to freely & completely accept them and enjoy them. Oh, isn't Jesus amazing. Truly, he came to save us from our selves- from the need to be critical of others, to size up what they are or aren't 'doing.'

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

They are not just idle words for you- they are your life. Deu. 32:47

....what'l ya say, lets feast on 'em, ruminate on 'em, ponder 'em

and let them ever so slowly transform us...our thots, actions...

R U Ready Mama?

Cause this is pretty cool!!!

This past week Liberty assumed the position to crawl & was thrilled with herself! She rocked back and forth a few times & plundered onto her belly. Precious girl!


She hasn't done it much since & is pretty content sitting up with a toy in her hand or in the johnny jump up saying " da, da, da, da." What a ray of sunshine this little girl is in our home!

Today I let things go a bit & lingered extra long with her after nursing.
I snuggled her close.
I kissed all over her neck.
I sang This is the day to her.
I was still with her.
We giggled together.
We loved on eachother.
I gloried in this gift of a woman child on my knee that Father has lavished me with to raise up.
What an honor!
Her first year is flying by.

Wisdom from The Little Prince

Our families flooded us with some rich literature for Christmas. Whoo- hooo!

As the 3 older kids get to choose a bin to build with- lego, lincoln log, wooden blocks
or a puzzle to work- I read aloud to them after we've done some book work at the
table. This week we have plunged into The Little Prince by Antonine De Saint-Exupery.
It is sweet. Short chapters. Simple little drawings of the Prince, his planet & the creatures
he encounters. I have never read it before.

Today, it caught me by suprise, lump in throat & teary.

So true how GOOD LITERATURE apeals to ALL ages.
Speaks on many different levels.
Oh that the art of reading aloud to children would become habit & JOY
in homes and in schools all acoss the land!
That we would consider ourselves RICH not because of the big ole TV's we own
but because of the numerous places we visit through books, the diverse people
and animals we discover....because of the people who loved us enough to read stories
that build character & values into us.

As the Prince is talking to the fox about being lonely
"...having friends to find and things to learn." He is missing his one small flower he
cared for on his planet & his 3 little volcanoes & is searching for meaning in life, and
wondering what his life is going to be about.

Then the prince says goodbye to the fox so he can get on with his journey.

"Good bye," said the fox.

"Here is my secret. It's quite simple:

One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."


Oh that Jesus would open the eyes of our hearts today to SEE with the eyes of our hearts, truly see what is of value.

My bestest gift this year

There is a gift no package can hold

no glitter or gloss perfect

Mundane tasks & chores & daily routines

which seems so bland & lowly

Yet with this man day in and out

my life is richer still

The trash is taken to the curb each week

and this with his eldest son by his side

The wood he carries in & stokes the fire

as I read & snuggle & mother our children

so freely in a way I dreamed & am so blessed

to do- without worry of food or shelter

His steady presence, his servant leadership

the way he drinks his coffee each morning at

our breakfast table & sits quietly with God's

Words as the children do their chores & I

make breakfast, Oh Jesus keep me from

grumbling when he leaves his cereal bowl

in the sink or committs some minor act

that ruffles my feathers

For this gift from Your hand

I recieve anew

this gift of a man who daily breaths

life into our children with me

who partners with me in this taking dominion

over the earth, our acre of land, our 4 living children

joshua, jed, abby & liberty-blessed by the sitting on

his knee, the testing of their strength in his muscles

as they wrestle, the steady pulse of his hugs & kisses and

his love for their momma

A gift that no money can buy yet the next generation will

be built upon for as they watch him love me through the daily

things he does behind our 4 walls the boys are learning how to love

a woman one day and the girls

they grow in their ability to

trust a mans hand one day.

I have entered the covenant of marriage

with this man with flesh & imperfections

and today I affirm my respect of him, my committment to him,

to our marriage that has had its tears & tatters over our 10 short

years together.

My gift of a book, a shirt, a travel coffee mug only dabbles at the edge of the sea of

the gift of love my heart swims in each day as I walk alongside you, my Arogorn.

slow snowy days

snow has fallen over the walters ranch.
8 in' & a thick layer of ice.
our days are full of sledding & hot choclate & a hearty dose of the nutcracker.
liberty's stocking arrived in the mail today. whew!
wrapped gifts for others tonight.
invited neighbors over for christmas movie & popcorn & m&m's last night.
mama jo came last week for early christmas- showered kids with books & darth vador suit for joshua & clone trooper suit for jed & 10 animal masks for abby- they are elated!
baked pumpkin breads today.
going slow & breathing deep in these holy days of advent.
grieving william all over again even tho it's been 6 years since I said goodbye.
boy, i'm glad jesus was born.
i'm so glad he came to earth.
a light in the darkness.

Liberty

Last week Liberty crossed over into her 5th month of life and I've just been hankerin' to share this precious little gem of a girl child. I am so sad today that you aren't getting your hands on her Karin Abbott cause Lord knows you'd be droppin by to squeeze her & tell her how much Jesus loves her & what super plans He must have for her- I can hear you saying that to Jed & Abby as babies. And Kristen, baby hood just isn't as sweet without your girls ooohing & awing & holding & coddling in their precious way ...those little mama's your raising in Halle & Maia. So, although I am writing for those who do keep up with our fam through this cool blog thing, I guess tonight this ones for those Wenatchee gals that I said goodbye to 2 years ago & just haven't been quite as alive & free since & full since our parting.

Here's my Liberty. My baby woman so full of genteness, with eyes that gleam a sweet knowing, with little fingers that grasp my thumb each morning & evening as we lay in my bed & nurse, her toey's twitching against my thigh, her softness next to me speaking a language only mothers & daughters can comprehend.

And here is her big sister who glories each day in this gift of a sister God has given to her! She delights in this baby child & "reads" to her & speaks in that sweet oochie goochie voice & says the EXACT same things I say to her! Man is she learning about mothering or what!?! Lord, just please let her forget my super bad days!

Hat's off to little girls & new life & the sin that God has rescued us from in Christ- the ways he daily liberats us to be the men & women he created us to be in this world for his glory. My need for a savior is daily aparent to me. I am so thankful for Jesus. Truly, it is for FREEDOM Christ set us free, therefore, dear ones, let us STAND firm and not be bound again by a yoke of slavery.

Oh, that we would lift our hands to the moon, close our eyes and twirl basking in our Fathers undeserved unconditional LOVE for us, with us, chasing us, hunting us down every day.

Freedom to create

This past weekend our family took a big ole' road trip. My man was headed to Raleigh to see U2 and we decided to make it a family trip & see some old friends who were gracious enough to host us, let us eat their food & sleep in their beds & sleeping bags. It was sweet to see our kids bond. My man took an extra day off work so we could enjoy the Marbles mesuem in Raleigh as a family on Friday. Endless creative, imaginative play at this place if ever your in the area.

As I have returned to my own home, unpacked, done laundry & recouped from the adventure my heart has been so full after recieving the gift of being in the Morrison, Moon & Cobb households. It is rare to get to be a part of 3 different families lives within 4 days. Their was such uniqueness in each home & this week I have been reminded how I as the woman of my home have the freedom to make this place- my home- my sphere of influence- what I desire it to be through my creative touches & unique sense of beauty & style but also through my heart attitudes. I am reminded that the ones around me draw from my state of presence- pouty or peaceful presence- hurried & anxty or relaxed & gracefulness.

How thankful I am to get to share lifes journey with friends who are in a similar season of raising children. Today I am living grateful for Anna & Scott, Julian, Madelyn, Kalen & Brayden....Catherine & Steven, J.P., Luke & Anna...Angela & Jay & Ava. Your a blessing to us!

Habits

7. Never give a command that you do not intend to see carried out to the full.

"by and by, when he is old enough, take the child into confidence; let him know what a noble thinkg it is to be a ble to make himself do, ina minute, and brightly , the very thing he would rather not do. To secure this habit of obedience, the mother must exercise great self-restraint; she must never give a command which she does not intend to see carried out to the full. And she must not lay upon her children burdens, grievous to be borne, of command heaped upon command." (Vol. 1, p. 164)

Laying Down the Rails a Charlotte Mason handbook by Sonya Shafer

How often I do this! Give tooo many commands & over burden my little ones. Or I ask a child to do a simple task, "Put the crayons in the pail" and I busy myself with something else or keep prodding him or am just so caught up in something else & want to avoid conflict that I move on.

This book has been mentioned by many that I respect the past year & I finally found a sweet friend who had it & was willing to share. So here I am diving in & I just appreciate the way it is
already bringing light to some things that are frustrating me in daily life & giving some teaching & direction for my mind to mull over & implement with my children.


"As you read Charlotte's thoughts on habits, may you be encouraged and motivated anew to lay down the rails of good habits upon which your child can run well into the future!"

Today...

I am thankful.
I am choosing to give thanks instead of grumble.
My heart leans toward the later these days as I feel homesick for souls out of my reach.
So, today I am bundling the hurt and letting Jesus lead my eyes to rest on gifts which I can give thanks.

I am thankful

for my husband who brought me coffee in the bedroom this morning.
for disposable diapers cause I can't imagine doing cloth this go round.
for a sister who has great taste & passes on her kids cute clothes.
for a trampoline some killer friends gave us because my sons jumped like mad & laughed their hearts out after a full morning of books & art.
for my God who listened as I whispered, "I can't" this morning & he ushered in with, "No, but I can."
for a homemade granola recipe that is simple to make & just filled my hungry nursing body.
for Susan Wise Bauer using her gifts to write an excellent language arts book because today I learned just what a helping verb really is.
for Sam who exuberates with life & love & beauty & loves my kids too & enjoys being with them when James & I want to go out on a date- tonight!
for a Mama who calls to tell me she loves me in her busy days.
for this happy alert baby woman by my side who squels at me & laughs & has the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen.

Raising Readers

I read The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease this summer and highly recomend it. Not only is there a huge list of good books with a descriptions & age range & number of pages but his research is well done. Here is a bit from the book...

In 1985, the Commission issued its report, Becoming a Nation of Readers. It is, in my opinion, the most important and commonsense education document in twenty-five years. Among its primary findings, two simple declarations rang loud and clear:

"The single most important activity for building the knowledge required for eventual success in reading is reading aloud to children.

The Commission found conclusive evidence to support the use of reading aloud not only in the home but also in the classroom: "It is a practice that should continue throughout the grades."

What the experts were saying was that reading aloud was more important than worksheets, homework, assessments, book reports, and flash cards.

One reason my husband and I have chosen this home schooling lifestyle is to nurture our childrens natural love of learning things and this is best done with plenty of time and space to explore BOOKS- places, people, soccer, yes star wars too!, animals, why we only see the stars at night, keeping a bee hive. EmilyDickinson said it so well...

# 1263

There is no frigate like a Book

To take us Lands away

Nor any Coursers like a Page

Of prancing Poetry-

This Traverse may the poorest take

Without oppress of Toll-

How frugal is the Chariot

That bears the Human soul.

Emily Dickenson c.1873

With a 7, 4, 3 & 3 month old I am still in the throws myself of some hard squirmy days while reading or fusses about who gets to sit beside Mom or "she took my..." so do not for a second begin to picture me peacefully reading to my kids all day & wonder why it is so hard for you. I'm learning & messing up & keepin' on going just like most of you are in different areas of your life.

But, I must say that I am seeing progress. Today after reading a chapter of Henry Huggins- a chapter book about a boy and his dog while I thought Jed was in his own world with his lego man beside me, he protested adimantly when I closed the book at the end of that chapter & was moving on to read History with Joshua. And Abby, she is totally in love with Clara in the Nutcracker. We have a shortened version- still about 20 pages with beautiful illustrations- and when I tell her to pick any book and I will read it- well, I better be ready to really read cause that is what she chooses & buddy she knows if I skip the littlest part!

Charlotte Mason has taught me a lot about learning to choose what she called living books. She taught me how we 'dumb down' stuff for kids & called this twaddle. I urge you to take a look at your books & see if they have real sentences with thoughts and ideas.

This school year I am working through Rebecca Manor's Teaching Character through Literature.

You can find this at http://www.bfbooks.com/. There is a reading list with discussion questions- short- but helps you bring the meat out of it.

Other resources that I've gleaned from in this area.

Honey for a Child's Heart by Gladys Hunt

Who should We Then Read? by Jan Bloom

The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease

This is us at night. Each child has a good reading light and a book basket at the end of their bed. They get to look at books, read, make up stories about the pictures they see-what ever you want to call it, but THEY are in direct contact with books by themselves. It helps to wind them down at the end of the day. Just sharing some of what I've learned & am learning. Be blessed today, curl up & enjoy some good books with someone you love.

Rock a Bye Time

Jane came to drink hot tea & eat dessert & chat with us young women several years ago.

We invited her to come, us young pups in the throws of dirty diapers & new marriages, all

humbled enough to know we could use to glean some insight from an older lady who had been

around the block a few times.

I can still see the room, see her sitting peaceful & glowing, calm & contented like sharing her story with us. In a nut shell, after 2 kids & living the good ole' American life- with great jobs & a big house & mula for stuff & fun each month she & her husband started asking the question...What are we doing? ...Is this suppost to be the 'good' life cause were not really happy? After lots of searching their own hearts & asking hard questions they ended up adopting several children- over the course of several years.

Some of the children had suffered from neglect and came to them first as foster parents. I had never heard true stories of this & my little safe bubble was horrified to learn of her child who screamed at the sight of flies. Why? Because locked in a bedroom for a long, long time, she was starving & to live she ate flies. She was only a child and haunted by the memories.

From a nice, happy life with 2 healthy kids, lots of evenings out with her man & time for herself to a bustling home with lots of children & choosing to school some of them at home.

We asked the question...something like this- What advice do you wish an older woman would of given you in these exhausting days we are in of raising little children? What words are on your heart concerning young mothers?

She then told lots of stories of what she came to call "Rock a Bye Time." Whether it was a toddler or a young school kid or one of her teenagers she spoke about how time sitting down in her rocking chair close to her children effected them...and her. About how it effected the tone of her home, how it built bridges, how it softened hearts, how it soothed anger and put a dab of ointment on wounds she probably didn't even know about.

Lately, I have been thankful for how feeding a baby slows one down. As I sit in my own rocking chair these days, I am rarely alone. Not just one on my lap but yes, today all three big kids were sitting with me in the chair. The music was turned on to dance after our full morning of books & table time & cleaning up a bit & reciting our verse for the week in front of the wipey board we turned on the music to dance but my feet were tired & my eyes were too so I slumped in my rocking chair and my son put on one of their favorite dance tunes....only instead of dancing little feet scampered over & climbed up on the arms of the rocking chair. I felt soft cheeks resting on my arms. Then even my almost 8 year old boy stood in front of me with a little soft grin, "Is there room for me?"

Dear mother, where do you find your self today? Overwhelmed by _____, stressed out from ______, discouraged by______. A baby that is fussy, a toddler that has more energy than you can handle, the thot of feeding everyone something healthy tonight? We all have something to fill in that blank. Don't let the enemy fool you that SHE has it all together. Whatever IT may be can I challenge you or better yet us to linger more in the rocking chair than in the grumy slumps of "I have soooo much to do" martyr mode. Yes, I have been there too lately. Somehow, rock a bye time has had a way of letting priorities come more into focus for me and my cup is fuller during these demanding days rather than empty. It is a process, sure.

But for today, there is a song in my heart & a slight grin on my face & a thankful attitude for the way the Holy Spirit has reminded me of Janes story recently & her words from over 4 years ago.

Who could use a little rock a bye time in your home today?

Raising the Cowboy

Little boys...who understands them? I am entering new phases with my little man cubs & I'm not really sure if I'm raising them well some days. John Eldridge's book The Way of the Wild Heart is giving insight & courage & understanding these days.

Here is a bit from the chapter about raising the cowboy...which is what I have two of!
cowboy stage is through age 13...

You have a strength, and it is needed. When a man feels that to be true of him, he rises up and engages like a man. As a boy begins to become a young man, there are some key issues at stake. He needs to know he possesses a genuine strength, and he needs to know that strength is ultimately for others. There is a bravery that must be cultivated in him, for it will be called upon in every other stage of his life. Adventure comes into play to develop the masculine soul, because adventure calls us out, requires us to be something we want to be but aren't sure we are. Adventure nourishes and strengthens a man's heart in ways that cannot be fully articulated, must be experienced.

As I explained in Wild at Heart, adventure is a spiritual longing set in the heart of every man. Notice that in the tales told in Scripture, whenever God gets hold of a man he takes that man into an adventure of the first order. Abraham, called out of Ur, to follow this God to a land he has never seen, never to return. Jacob, wrestling with God in the wilderness in the dead of night. Peter, called out of the boat to Christ in a raging storm.

Playful memory

Just as I'm about to slip into exhaustion & a grumbling heart upon thots of washing dishes, evening routines and chores left undone, my husband announces, "Everyone OUTSIDE!!!, including Momma!" He slips me a grin, this man who knows me so well. Out we go, kids bounding like Tigger to our spacious backyard. James lights teeky torches, one, two, three.

And we play till dark.

Throwing frisbee is a favorite. Joshua's getting the hang of throwing it accurately. Excited by Dad's gentle teaching & then to actually see improvement in his skills. After throwing a little with the guys I spy a lone stragler in need of some love so I growl like a lion and act my best to be on the prowl for my littlest man cub. He brightens and runs fast as little feet will carry him.
We end our chase rolling in the grass our bodies holding tight, his dimple inches away. Abby scampers to join the frolicking and we giggle for what seems like hours. I am amazed at how long they can linger with ole' Mom doing my same ole same ole tricks. Or maybe they need to.

"Hold me up like that Momma!!" "Tickle me like you tickle Abby." "Zerbert me on my belly button too!" "Can I lay in your lap now?" And then the big boo-boo happens, Dad a little off aim nails Abby in the head. Oops! I cradle her & hold the ice. She likes the attention and I like focusing on just her. She is not a toddler anymore. I take note of how long she is growing, how golden her skin is.

After the tears the ice bag sits in the grass & the thot comes "do I teach em how to put ice down peoples backs?" The fun takes over & they are running around like mad, squealing with delight.
Me getting them, them getting me too! Then I coach Jed on how to get Daddy. We walk over to him throwing frisbee & Jed asks him to bend down to look at those mountains & he plays along. Jed struggles to get the ice out of his pocket & finally puts it in Daddy's shirt then falls backward with confident laughter that HE got Dad! Dad tackles and they wrestle in laughter.

Our night is over. The chores are still there. Yet, these memories are close as we rise to a new day. Our hearts woven in the throwing, the tickling, the running, the comforting, the ice fights.
Thank you Jesus for the joy of play.

Being in Nature

There is nothing quite like a day by the creek, fully surrounded by trees to clear my head and bond me to my children. I still enjoy digging in the sand, looking at rocks, having splash fights and ooohhing and awwwing over little critters. God set my heart free to be silly & childlike when He showed me how totally accepted I was by him...not because of anything I have done to 'be a good person' but all because of Jesus paying the price for my yucky positive good looking flesh- my sin, on the cross. I am not always in play mode of course becasue of the one million and three things that have to be done to run a household well so getting out in nature creates natural space for my own heart to sing and be refreshed but also to play beside my budding little saplings.

There is something so cool about being able to be playful with my children I wish I could create a day where Mom's don a hat & t-shirt and come to the creek with the assignment to sit, be present & play with their kids. NO cell phone, newspaper, book. I wonder if women would be interested, would want to come and be with their kids. I wonder if women would cancel something else in order to come. I wonder if the lack of tangile productivity or income would keep women at bay.

Our world moves so fast. Commercials, video games, billboards, blogs, email, answering machines all becon our time, emotional energy & attention. Are we forgetting how to BE in the midst of such technology? Are we forgetting how to s-l-o-w down and focus on one thing & actually enjoy that moment, that person?

Father, would you raise up a generation of women who love their children, who love being Mommy, singing and playing, working and resting alongside their little people who are only little for a short while. Would you remind us of the awesome truths of being beloved daughters of yours- loved, accepted and forgiven so that we can cease striving to measure up to the cultures standards for women, or our friends noble accomplishments in her company and just get on with the beyond noble task of loving and training and raising up children who know & love you. Give us hearts that exault in the joy of this season of life & joyfully recieve the children you have entrusted in our care. Quiet our complaining. Release us to love & serve in this world filled with thorns & thistles. You are so good. You are so near to us.

A Special Visit

Today I am thankful for a dear old friends visit & the lingering touches she added to our home last weekend. Kay has known James longer than I have. She is a woman of wisdom & beauty & an incredible photographer. She is easy to be with, loves to laugh & is the biggest servant I've ever known. She spent time with me helping me think outloud about the systems in my home- mainly my office space. We cleared out clutter & made the space more usable. We dined at my favorite restaurant, shared a salad & enjoyed some wine. We shopped & went to Target.

What fun we all had with her in our home to play with, stay up late chatting with, taking her to our favorite spots, drinking wine with & going out on a girls coffee date & walk to a beautiful herb garden. Thanks Kay for making the trip to nurture relationships with us. Your special to all us Walters!